Guest post from Major Ivor Misunderstanding - Bloody Runners!

This is a guest post by Major Ivor Misunderstanding (ret)

Sirs

Once again we are trapped in our homes by hordes of people supposedly embarking on a "fun" run although what is fun about running I have no idea.

They have closed off the public roads and turned them into a racetrack. As a result I will not be able to drive to the Golf course for lunch and a few harmless whiskies before harmlessly driving home as I do every Sunday.

What right do they have to deprive myself and others of our personal freedoms so that they can have a morning of so called fun?

These so-called runners don't pay road tax like I do. I have heard although I don't believe it , that some roads are paid for by council tax. I'll wager most of these neer-do-wells  aren't from around here either. why can't they run on their own roads?

All that pounding must damage the roads really badly. Do they get charged for the roads to be repaired after they have destroyed it? No I'll bet they don't.

Do they not have special tracks they can waddle around near their homes tucked out of site so that they don't offend the vast majority of the right-minded public. We don't want to see people doing this kind of nonsense.

Most them "wear" such minimal clothing so that they are almost naked underneath, with everything  jiggling and bouncing about whilst they bound down the road all sweaty and steamy.

All this exercise must place a great strain on their bodies. What about the millions which it must cost the NHS to treat all the heart attacks that all this running must attract. Why is it that the poor taxpayer must fork out for these idiots when they harm themselves. Make them go private, and don't treat anyone who gets ill or injured whilst running without taking their card details first.  I also think they should be forced to wear special helmets for when they trip over. I know how easy it can be to fall over. I have done so myself many times walking across the car park from the clubhouse.

Another thing is all the rubbish that these louts create, just chucking away fruit leftovers, and water bottles. They leave the place looking like a tip. the police should fine them.

I am glad to see though that someone has had the good sense to make them all wear registration numbers so they can be easily identified.

Yours

Ivor Misunderstanding, Major (ret)